“Father Forgets” — And What It Taught Me About Leadership (Not Just Fatherhood)

There’s this old poem called “Father Forgets” by W. Livingston Larned. It’s not long—just a few paragraphs—but it hits harder than a 2x4 across the forehead.

It’s written from the perspective of a dad who realizes he’s spent the day nitpicking his son for every little thing—spilled milk, messy clothes, not sitting up straight. Then, that night, he sneaks into the boy’s room to find him asleep, peaceful and small, and it hits him like a ton of bricks: he’s been so busy correcting the kid that he forgot to see him.

It’s a gut check for any parent. But the more I’ve read it (and re-read it), the more I’ve realized—it’s not just about being a good father. It’s about being a good leader.

Because at the core, this poem isn’t about parenting. It’s about people.

We All Forget Sometimes

You don’t have to have kids to know what this feels like. Ever find yourself losing patience with a coworker, apprentice, or employee because they didn’t do something the “right way”?

You walk away frustrated, muttering about processes and common sense—but later you realize… maybe they didn’t know better. Maybe they’re still learning. Maybe they don’t have your experience. Maybe you were the one expecting perfection out of someone who’s still figuring it out.

That’s the heart of “Father Forgets.” It’s the moment you catch yourself being too hard on someone who didn’t deserve it—and you wish you could rewind and lead with a little more grace.

“I Was Measuring You by the Yardstick of My Own Years”

That line right there? That’s the whole leadership lesson.

It’s easy to expect others to move at your pace, know what you know, and think the way you think—especially when you’ve been at it for years. But people grow at different speeds. What seems simple to you might be a mountain to someone else.

I’ve caught myself doing it plenty of times.  Impatience, jumping in and taking over, talking over some one, forming unfair and unfounded opinions of someones performance. But then I think of this poem—and I bite my tongue. Because I’ve been there. I’ve made those same mistakes.

That’s the moment to teach, not tear down.

Empathy Is the Secret Ingredient

Leadership isn’t about barking orders or “motivating” people through pressure. It’s about remembering they’re human—just like you were when you were green, nervous, and trying to impress someone who already had it all figured out.

The best leaders know when to correct—but also when to encourage, all of it is a course correct. They see the progress even in the mess-ups. They know that a little patience now can pay off tenfold later.

“Father Forgets” is basically a blueprint for that kind of leadership. It’s not about lowering standards—it’s about raising understanding.

Praise Loud, Correct Quiet

It’s funny how easy it is to speak up when something goes wrong but stay silent when things go right. The dad in the poem realizes he’s been quick to scold but slow to notice all the good—the smiles, the effort, the small victories.

Sound familiar?

As leaders, it’s our job to balance the two. Let people know when they’re crushing it, not just when they’re screwing up. Gratitude and recognition go further than any lecture ever will.

The “Bedside Moment” Every Leader Needs

The father in the story ends up standing over his son’s bed, realizing how small the boy still is—and how unfair his expectations have been. He quietly promises to do better.

That’s the moment every leader needs. The one where you see the person, not just the performance.

We all need that reset sometimes—to stop, take a breath, and remember that the people we lead are trying, learning, and looking to us for example more than instruction.

Why It Still Matters

“Father Forgets” might be nearly a century old, but it’s still one of the best reminders out there on how to treat people—at home, at work, anywhere. It’s not about being soft; it’s about being self-aware.

Good leadership, just like good parenting, isn’t about control—it’s about connection. It’s about seeing the person behind the role, recognizing effort over errors, and building trust instead of fear.

So yeah, it’s technically a poem about a dad and his kid. But if you ask me, it should be required reading for anyone who’s ever had a title, a crew, or a team.

Because at the end of the day, the people we lead don’t remember every correction or critique.  Remember you will fail as a leader to live up to this from time to time, that’s ok, have patience and grace with yourself as well.

And if that lesson isn’t timeless—I don’t know what is.