The Gear Test — Avoiding the Rookie Setup Disaster
Look, I get it. You’re pumped for your first camping trip. You’ve bought the tent, the sleeping bag, the little camp stove that makes you feel like a survivalist chef. You’ve watched one episode of a wilderness show and now you’re basically Bear Grylls in your head.
Except… you’re not. Yet.
Because here’s the thing: camping gear is like dating apps — it always looks easy to use in the pictures, but in reality, there’s a learning curve, and it’s best to figure it out before you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere with no cell service and a suspicious raccoon watching your every move.
The Backyard Trial Run
Repeat after me: “I will set up my tent before I leave home.”
And I don’t mean “I looked at the picture on the box.” I mean actually pull it out of the bag, unfold the alien-looking poles, and put it together added points for doing this in the dark also. This serves three purposes:
You confirm all the parts are there (spoiler: sometimes they’re not).
You actually figure out how it works before the wind, rain, and your camping buddies’ judgement join the party.
You get the sheer joy of realizing it takes 12 minutes at home… and will take 40 at the campsite because the ground is rock-solid and the sun is setting.
Common Rookie Mistakes (AKA: How to Start a Group Chat About “That One Time…”)
Missing Stakes – Stakes are the unsung heroes of camping. Forget them, and your tent becomes a $200 kite. In fact I generally recommend throwing out the ones that came with your tent and replace with heavy duty ones.
Wrong-Size Poles – Yes, they all look the same. No, they don’t actually fit interchangeably.
Missing Batteries – Your lantern is just a decorative paperweight without them. Always check before you leave.
Bringing Fancy Gear You’ve Never Used – That ultralight backpacking stove? Great idea… until you realize you don’t know how to light it without singeing your eyebrows.
How to Practice Camp Cooking Without a Meltdown
Here’s a free piece of life advice: do a test run of your camp meals in your backyard, driveway, or even your kitchen counter.
Why? Because finding out you don’t know how to adjust the flame on your camp stove after the sun goes down is a one-way ticket to a dinner of sad granola bars. Plus, it lets you figure out portion sizes, cooking times, and how long it actually takes water to boil on that tiny stove (hint: longer than you think).
That’s just science.
Why YouTube is Your Best Friend
Do yourself a favor and search for your exact tent, stove, or camp coffee maker on YouTube before your trip. There’s probably some kindly outdoorsy soul who’s uploaded a 5-minute tutorial that will save you 45 minutes of arguing with your significant other at the campsite.
YouTube doesn’t judge. Your camping buddies will.
Don’t Be This Camper
A short but powerful list of cautionary tales:
Duct Tape Tent Poles – No, this is not a “hack.” This is an art installation called Regret in the Woods.
Lantern with No Batteries – It’s mood lighting now.
Sleeping Bag Left at Home – Congratulations, you now own a large, cold picnic blanket.
Air Mattress with No Pump – Have fun passing out from exhaustion halfway through inflating it by mouth.
Forgot the Lighter – Enjoy your cold hot dogs.
Bottom line: Test your gear at home, mock your own mistakes early, and walk into your trip like someone who’s at least watched the training montage before the big adventure. Because “I’ll figure it out when I get there” is really just code for “I’m about to entertain the whole campground.”
Disclaimer: The tips and opinions shared in this post are based on personal experience and general knowledge. They are not a substitute for professional advice. Before heading out on any camping trip, consult experienced guides, local authorities, or other qualified professionals to ensure your plans are safe and appropriate for your location and skill level. Nature is beautiful—but it doesn’t hand out do-overs.