Steamed Blue Crabs and Beer…

Why Pabst Blue Ribbon or Natty Boh Are the Official Beers of Crab Feasts (And You Can’t Convince Us Otherwise)

Let’s set the scene: it’s a sweaty summer afternoon, you’ve got newspaper spread across a sticky picnic table, mallets in hand, and a pile of steaming blue crabs threatening to collapse under their own spicy, Old Bay–dusted majesty. There’s friends. There’s corn. Someone’s already sliced their finger on a shell.

Now ask yourself this: Is this the time for a fancy IPA named after a Norse god’s third cousin? No. Absolutely not. This is a job for Pabst Blue Ribbon or National Bohemian—the official beverages of crustacean chaos.

1. They’re Cold, Cheap, and Plentiful—Just Like Summer Should Be

You’re not sipping this beer to analyze its notes of pine or citrus or artisanal wheat harvested by monks in Oregon. You’re drinking it to wash crab guts off your palate and to stay hydrated enough to avoid heat stroke while someone’s uncle plays cornhole barefoot.

You need volume, not virtue. You want something that comes in a cooler the size of a small kayak and costs less than your gas station sandwich.

2. They Don’t Compete with the Crabs

Let’s be honest—the crab is the star of the show. The spice, the brine, the slight thrill of possibly inhaling shell fragments—it’s a whole sensory experience. You don’t need a beer trying to steal the spotlight.

PBR and Natty Boh are like the best background singers: reliable, loyal, and never trying to outshine the lead vocalist. They go down easy, rinse your mouth clean, and leave room for more crab.

3. There’s a Vibe—and These Beers Get It

PBR and Natty Boh don’t show up to the crab feast wearing a Patagonia vest and talking about “mouthfeel.” They show up in cargo shorts with a koozie, ready to shotgun if necessary.

Natty Boh is literally a Baltimore legend, and if you’re cracking Maryland blues without one, you might be arrested by a guy named Bunky in a boat with a Natty Boh flag. And PBR? It’s the beer of dive bars and back porches, a timeless “I’m just here to have a good time” in a can.

These beers are built for crab-slicked hands, plastic cups, and coolers slowly filling with melted ice and floating bottle caps. They belong at a feast where napkins are optional and nobody’s judging you for double-dipping.

4. They Pair Perfectly with the Best Crab Feast Activities

• Screaming at a stubborn claw that won’t crack open?
  Sip.

• Wiping Old Bay off your forehead with a crab shell?
  Sip.

• Getting into a mildly aggressive debate about the “right” way to pick a crab?
  Sip. Sip.

These beers pace you. They’re the metronome of summer chaos.

Final Word: Respect the Tradition

A crab feast isn’t about luxury—it’s about mess, laughter, salt, sunburns, and a shared understanding that the only thing better than the next crab is the cold beer waiting beside it.

So save the hazy triple stouts and barrel-aged nonsense for another day. Grab a PBR or a Natty Boh, crack it open with the side of your mallet, and get back to the table.

Because nothing says summer quite like cheap beer and a pile of crabs big enough to cause a mild existential crisis.

Cheers, you glorious crab-cracking animal.